Made it past 3 years!

I have a blog that I kept since my diagnosis.  I haven't posted in it since January this year.  I notice I did 25 posts in 2012 after I was diagnosed.  Then only 6 in 2013.  In 2014 and 2015, only one post from me.  That's it.  I briefly scanned a couple of my posts before writing this one and documenting my thoughts about cancer, treatment, friends, BFAC, and other topics relating to how finding a tumor, treating a tumor, and being cured.  I'm super glad I wrote them and I think I should add more updates along the way.  So.... here goes......

I almost purposely missed posting a blog on my end of treatment three year anniversary this year which was 7/25/15.  Some days I feel like writing about it makes it too raw and too real, and I don't want to honor that memory with documenting it.  I want to put it behind me and pretend it isn't a part of me.  Then again, I'm so happy that I blogged my feelings and a few photos along the way (which was the whole purpose, to remind myself later), so that I can reflect on an event so major that changed my life, my thoughts, and my being.  It changed me.  So even though part of me doesn't want to write about it, there are those days when writing about it helps me through it and reading others blogs are still helping me through it, answering burning questions electronically, and sharing feelings and worries.  

The fact that I don't write about it doesn't mean that I don't think about it every single day, several times a day.  I think about the experience and what I went through.  I think about the love, support, and friendships validated throughout the process of chemo and radiation and it's aftermath.... which is still there.  For these gifts I am grateful.  I think about every ache, cough, and headache as "what if".  I never felt any of this BC (before cancer).  I feel in a deeper way than BC for my many friends that have suffered, are currently suffering, who have lost their battle, or had someone who lost the battle, who are fighting the battle, and who are surviving.  I feel for them as someone who is family.  I understand.  I suffer, fight, and live, by their sides, with compassion and deeper understanding than before.

So much has changed in my life since the end of treatment.  I am now NED and feel good about that.  I have had several PET, CT and Scopes to verify it.  The more time that passes, the more secure I am that the demon been exorcised and will not return.  I am down to seeing the gastro surgeon once a year now.  I am excited for 7/25/2017.  That is the famous 5 year mark that we all hope to get to without reoccurrence.  Even then, I think I'll worry for the rest of my life.  I am different now. I have changed.  This is my new normal.

On the personal side of life, in the past 3 years, I have become a grandparent of 2 exceptional, beautiful, gifted, amazing miracles, Liam & Liv.  I've moved.  With this move, we're in Wenatchee again and totally enjoying life here again.  My whole family has moved (to be close to each other) back to Wenatchee; Sam, my mom, Amber & Adam (and their kids), Adam's mom & sister and hopefully more to follow.  I've changed jobs (still with Wells Fargo though, 10 years this Sept 2015).  I get to go on some fabulous vacations with Willie a few times a year.  I'm happy.

Porter sent you a prayer.
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Hi Cathy!

You're last statement says it all--"I'm happy." And reading that makes me so, so happy for you! Congrats on reaching the 3-year mark. That is so awesome.

I think reflecting back on what we've been through is a normal part of the healing process. I don't think I'll ever put all of that out of my mind, but being reminded occasionally of how far I've come always makes me feel good. I, too, have become more compassionate towards others who are in the fight. Until I had to do it myself, I never understood how difficult it is.

Keep moving forward and keep enjoying life. Your grandchildren are beautiful and how nice that you are once again surrounded by family and friends. Stay well, stay happy! Hugs!

Martha
Cathy likes this comment
So happy for you! Live on!!
Cathy likes this comment
Stay happy, strong and positive!! 3 years is a great number as I'm currently at 2-1/2 years, counting day to the 5 year mark!!
Cathy likes this comment
Beautifully said!!!! 😊 You look wondetful and your grandchildren are just adorable and precious. Enjoy Cathy!!! Love and hugs😘😘😘😘😘😘
Cathy likes this comment
Thank you for this lovely post. Will keep it to re-read!
Cathy likes this comment
Cathy...so glad to hear you're doing so well. The grandchildren are beautiful. Keep on enjoying this beautiful gift of life we've been given.

Hugs,
Mari
Cathy likes this comment
Those do look like 2 exceptional, beautiful, gifted, amazing miracles!! Congratulations, and wonderful 3 years!!
xoxo
Cathy likes this comment
So good to hear how well you are doing. I too think about the whole experience every day. I am not the same, nor can I ever be. And those who have not been there can never understand. I don't dwell on it, but it is certainly a part of who I am. We deal with lasting effects every day- of course we think about it! I just celebrated 1 year. I pray we all continue to enjoy good health.
Patrice58, Cathy like this comment
Thank you for this post. It gives us all hope!
Hugs.
Sara
Cathy likes this comment
Congratulations - enjoy your health and those beautiful grand babies !
Cathy likes this comment
Isn't it fantastic your birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year. With your whole family in the same town, I imagine this will be an extra special giving of thanks day for all. Set a virtual plate for NED, no need to bring him to the forefront because you are cured, which could otherwise stir up old pains you want left behind, but give him a wink. I hear your joy. It's very nice you shared it with us.
Cathy likes this comment
I posted it since Merrill was going to do so too after reading Sara's "Port Question" post on Oct. 19th.
Yep. Made it to 7/25/2017 the 5 year mark. Super happy. Still loving the beautiful grand kids. They are now 2 and almost 4. I love spending time with them more than anything. So lucky to be able to do it.
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Vital Info

Posts

August 22, 2012

Wenatchee, Washington 98801

November 26, 1962

Cancer Info

Anal Cancer

Anal Cancer (Squamous Cell)

May 16, 2012

Stage 3A

4.1 - 5.0 cm

Yes

Fluorouracil (5-FU)

Not knowing much about it. Losing control.

Lots about myself, medical info, friends, family and life!

Keep in touch

1 lymph node near the site

Utah Cancer Specialists

Eat healthy, drink tons of water, gargle with Biotene, work, rest, play, use a really good cell protection balm, take immodium.

It helps to have lots of love, support, and prayers.

June 11, 2012

None really, but about 3 months before colonoscopy had some swelling and bleeding down there. Thought it might be hemorrhoids. If it happened a second time I was going to check it.

Mitomycin and 5FU - 2 rounds

6 weeks (30 treatments - 10 spots) beginning 6/11/2012

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